There's Nothing Without Her
by Abboz
Summary: Crippled by the pain of her death, Robin is faced with a problem. How can he go on without Marian? Without her he cannot fight, without her he cannot fight for England, without her he can barely breathe. In short; there's nothing without her. R/M. Oneshot


**Set after series 2.**

_There's Nothing Without Her_

Robin woke in an unfamiliar bed, he rolled onto his side and screwed his eyes shut again; trying to shut out the pain. He curled up into a ball, hugging his knees, willing himself to go back to sleep and get away from this crippling pain. It wasn't working.

He grudgingly opened his eyes and for a moment he did nothing; he couldn't do anything the pain was that severe. Deciding that wasn't helping, he forced himself to sit up, hands clutching at his stomach. The pain was still there, sharp and unrelenting, coming from deep down somewhere inside him, though he knew not in his stomach.

He knew exactly where the pain was from; her, Marian, or rather her absence. He didn't know how long it had been since that day, nor did he care; all that mattered was that she was gone. She was never coming back, she was dead, and that was slowly killing him, he just wished it would hurry up and get it over with, so he could be with her again.

He wrapped his arms tight around his body, trying to warm himself up, he was so cold and what's more, he was certain he would always be so; without her, his heart, his strength, his soul reason for living, he would never be complete, never could without her. Without her he had no reason to live, no reason to continue, and admittedly he had no reason to fight for England; no longer did he have the incentive of her being with him in Locksley as his wife, or making England safe for their children.

Tears were forming in his eyes as he hugged his knees to his chest. He blinked; letting them fall, and continued to stare at the wall, thinking of Marian. He pictured her there in front of him, thought about all the things he loved about her, her hair, her smile, her eyes. And as he did so more tears fell, and the pain increased because he'd never be able to see her again, hold her against him, feel her warmth and her heart beat in sync with his, never again would he feel her lips against his.

But this was pain he welcomed. He would gladly welcome this pain if that was what it took to hold onto his memories; if they were all he had left, then he had to keep hold of them, he couldn't forget even the smallest of details.

Robin was drawn out of his thoughts when a figure appeared in the doorway, blocking the light from the rest of the room. He lifted his eyes to the door, saw it was just Much and switched his gaze back to the wall.

"Master? Glad to see you're awake."

"Go away, Much." He mumbled, tears still pouring down his cheeks.

"Master, what's wrong?"

"What do you think?" He replied bluntly, Much remained silent. "Her."

"Her?"

"Marian." He shook his head in disbelief when Much still looked blankly at him. "That she's gone; she's left me…" He paused for a moment, mustering up enough strength to say it out loud. "She's dead." He snapped at Much, spitting the words out.

"Master calm down."

"How can I? How can I calm down, Much?!"

"Please just relax, you don't understand."

"Don't understand?!" Robin scoffed. "It is you who does not understand, no one but she will ever understand how I felt, feel about her. My world is falling apart!"

"Master! Please, it's alright."

"No it's not! How can it be alright? Without her nothing can be alright anymore." He roughly grabbed Much's arm. "What do I do now?!" He vigorously shook the manservant. "There's nothing without her!"

"Get off me!" He tried to pull his arm away.

Robin pushed Much away. "Go." He urged, but Much didn't move, he stared aghast at Robin. "Go!" He snapped, Much left in a hurry and Robin went back to his solitary state; staring at the wall.

He imagined her sitting there with him, imagined what they'd say to each other, imagined how she'd hold him close and tell him not to worry. He imagined he could feel her skin against his palms, her warm breath on his face just before she kissed him, and her lips soft against his. His eyes flooded with tears again, he blinked to clear his eyes, causing them to flow down his cheeks.

A shadow fell over him, he paused for a moment in an unsuccessful attempt to compose himself, then switched his gaze up to the figure. For a moment there was nothing but shock; surely his eyes had to be deceiving him, his imagination getting the better of him, but his dreams, his memories never did her justice, she was the real thing. _His_ Marian was alive and standing there before him. He gazed up at her, eyes full of relief, joy, but mostly love. Marian looked back at him, her eyes reflecting the relief but also showing her concern; she didn't like to see him so upset, tears flowing down his cheeks.

"Oh Robin." She closed the gap between them and wrapped him into her embrace, cradling his head against her. She could feel him shaking against her so she held him tighter, waiting for him to relax. She wanted to say something to him, something that would help him relax but didn't know what. Deciding anything would help, she went for the obvious. "I love you." She whispered to him, and to her delight felt him relax a little. "Shh…" She soothed him; he was still trembling a little. "It's alright, I'm here Robin, relax now." She placed a kiss on the top of his head then pressed her cheek against the same spot, trying to reassure him with her closeness. Once she felt him relax she lifted her head from his and spoke softly to him. "I stay by your side for seven hours, yet it is when I leave for a minute, that you decide to wake."

Robin pulled back a little, just enough so he could look her in the eye. "I love you."

"I know, darling." She pressed her lips to his in a loving kiss. "I love you too, _never_ doubt that." She gently cupped his face with both hands, looking him in the eyes. "Don't cry." She smiled reassuringly, wiping the tears from his cheeks. "Tell me about it."

"About what? Clearly nothing happened…" He said softly.

Marian smiled. "What happened in _here_?" She kept her hands on either side of his face, thumbs gently stroking his temples. "Tell me, please. It will help, I promise."

"I thought you were… dead." He sounded ashamed; hating that he hadn't trusted his heart, trusted the feelings that would have told him she was alive.

"Yes, I gathered that much."

Robin closed his eyes then slowly reopened them, clearly confused by his thoughts. "I guess it must have been a dream."

"Yes." She encouraged him.

"The Holy Land… Vaysey… Gisbourne… Shah mat… the King…" He tried to piece it together. "You tried to stop Gisbourne from getting to the injured King… you were unarmed… he st…" He spluttered; not wanting to say it.

"Okay, stop. I see… I know." She looked him in the eyes showing her understanding but Robin still looked confused. "What is it?"

"I can't tell how much was a dream and how much wasn't."

"Well, I can help with that." She took both his hands in her own and wove her fingers in between his. "Vaysey brought me to the desert, to tie me up with you. You were unconscious when I got there, I was concerned, Djaq said you'd been unconscious for about half an hour… I'd wanted to be able to talk to you, and admittedly I did; I whispered things to you, wanting to give you something to come back to, on the off chance that we would survive… I think it worked." She smiled in an attempt to lift the atmosphere a little. "Luckily Carter came to rescue us, perhaps half an hour after I'd got there. I was _very_ concerned about you, desperate to get you to shelter, get you some water. They helped me bring you here." She paused for a moment; he clearly didn't know where 'here' was. "Bassam's… it's not far. I stayed here by your side the whole time, I promise… just now was the first time I left you, and even then it can't have been a minute."

"7 hours?"

"Yes, you had me worried." She leant closer to him and kissed him.

"Sorry…" He whispered.

"Come here, darling." She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close against her. "You have nothing to be sorry about; it's not your fault your mind was playing tricks on you and neither is it your fault that we were left in the desert."

"Thank you."

She broke away, looking him straight in the eye. "Thank _you_."

"I didn't do anything."

"You _did_." She said conclusively. "You came all the way to the Holy Land to save me from the Sheriff. That is a lot in itself, but there is plenty more I assure you."

"How could I not? There's nothing without you."

"And there's nothing without you." She met his lips with her own. She took a cup off the side and handed it to him. "Drink it; you need some water in you."

Robin drank thirstily but left some in the bottom, handing it back to her. "Have some too, you must be thirsty." She drank the rest to please him, knowing he was eager to look after her, make sure she was alright too.

Marian placed the cup back on the side then turned back to him. "Get some rest." She urged him. "Your body's exhausted."

He seemed reluctant but she was insistent; placing one hand on his shoulder the other against his back, she lovingly laid him down on the bed. Robin looked worried, almost fearful once she slipped her hands from underneath him. Noting this, she made sure to run her fingers through his hair as she withdrew her hand, letting her palm linger against his cheek, her skin warm against his. He brought his hand up to hers, holding it there for a moment before intertwining his fingers with hers, his eyes never leaving hers, silently begging with her. _Don't leave me, stay, please._

"I'm not going to leave you, I promise." She twisted her hand round in his so her palm was pressed against his. Lightly touching the tips of her fingers to his, she leant down beside him, holding herself up leaning on her elbow. Placing her fingers between his, Marian kissed the back of his hand, then leant forward and kissed him. Her lips curled upwards against his as she felt him wrap an arm round her, she then moved away before he could deepen the kiss further. She gave Robin a light peck on the cheek, then curled up next to him, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

Wrapping his arm tighter around her, Robin pressed his lips to the top of her head and slowly pulled his fingers from hers; moving his arm to wrap it round her and hold her even closer. Marian shifted her hand to his upper arm and tenderly rested it there; cuddling closer to him and closed her eyes.

And safe in each other's arms, they fell asleep.

**A/N: Hope you liked it... and hope i managed to fool a few of you into thinking at the start that she was dead... dunno if that worked or not, either way I hope you liked the fluff, I certainly liked writing it.**  
**Reviews are very much appreciated. And will all get a reply. Thanx for reading xx  
**


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